Let’s just put it out there.
“For the Lord God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.”
Malachi 2:16 (New King James)
Have I mentioned that my husband wasn’t a believer in the early days of our marriage?
It fell to me to be a witness, without words, to live my life with a purity and reverence that made him long to know and follow Jesus. I failed. Oh, boy, did I fail. Often, and badly.
There have been times, early in my marriage, when the vows I took were the only thing binding me to my husband. The feelings of romantic love? Long gone and it was hard to imagine them returning. The best friend of my life? It was easy to forget our friendship when things were the pits.
Usually, thinking of my children and not wanting them to suffer the consequences of divorce would be enough to keep me hanging, even if it was by a thread. But there were times that even my kids weren’t enough of a reason. Because I could lie to myself and tell myself that we’d be happier as two separate lives and therefore, my kids would ultimately be happier.
Yep, when I was really lost, I could imagine a life without my best friend, the love of my life, and I could even imagine my daughters living day to day without their Daddy. Craziness.
But then there were the vows.
The whole, “Until death us do part” thing.
The God hates divorce verse that was staring me in the face.
At one point, I might have told my husband, “I’m only here because of a vow.” Wow. What a great witness, right? Way to show Jesus to my husband.
At the time, it was true. I didn’t feel God calling me to stay in my marriage. I didn’t feel the love that had brought us together. I didn’t feel cherished ,and I certainly didn’t feel that what we had was worth saving.
I did feel anger, disappointment, and frustration. I felt rejected and lost. Sometimes, I felt like a fool.
Thank God I wasn’t relying on my feelings to get me through my marriage. In spite of all of my failings, I knew. I knew God’s Word said that He hated divorce. I knew that I had promised God I would love my husband. Like, until I died.
And though my feelings were all over the place, I knew.
There’s much I could say on this subject, but the fact is this: God said so. And for me, that’s enough.
More on how to work through the ugly places to come later this month.
If you have a good reason to stay married, everything from the serious to the light-hearted, send it me! You can tweet it, using the hashtag #365reasons or you can email me (try to keep it under 500 words so I can read them all) at angela @ homegrownmom.com (No spaces). Or share it on my Facebook page
I’ll be sharing as many as I can here, and before we know it, we’ll have a great resource for struggling marriages. If you want to me to link to your blog or Twitter, be sure to include a link.
God hates divorce, not divorced people. If you’re divorced, you are loved by God. Plain as that. This is for anyone currently married and thinking divorce is a way out. It’s not.
And, just in case, I have to say this: If you’re being abused, or your children are being abused, Get. Out. Find someone to help, email me if you don’t have anyone. Just get out, get safe, and then get godly counsel and then figure out what God wants to do from there. Don’t listen to anyone, Christian or otherwise, that tells you to stay with an abusive mate because of a vow. Just get safe. Please. God can restore anything and anyone, but He can do it without you and your children staying in danger. Okay?