Seems I’m not the only one who has trouble asking for help, and even worse, I’m not the only one with IBugEveryone-itis. It might be closely related to NobodyLikesMe-itis, but that’s a story for another day.
Makes me sad. But also relieved. Humans are horrible that way, aren’t we? I hate to think of anyone else feeling the way I do, but at the same time I’m glad I’m not the only freak out there. Maybe if you’re all agreeing, I shouldn’t be calling myself a freak, though. Because that might be insulting to you.
Not that I’m saying you’re freaks, too. Really, I’m not.
I wish I had great advice for you, but I think my friend Joanna on my personal Facebook page said it best:
“Someone explained to me that when we ask for help it gives people the opportunity to feel needed, productive, important, and be blessed.”
Well that certainly rings a bell. When someone asks me for help, I love to jump in and I especially love to feel needed. Thanks, Joanna, for that excellent nugget of wisdom. And thanks, too for the last sentence in your comment…
“Even remembering that it is still hard for me to ask for help.”
Freaks of the world unite!
And I can’t end this post without the stellar advice from my mommy:
“Remember–Jesus–JESUS–could have gone it alone. But He elected not to.”
Can’t argue with that, can I?
Mamala says
Oh, one more thought:
Norman Kunc, who himself is severely disabled, and yet has written many books, has been an inspiration and a stalwart champion for our special needs kids once said,
“I spent my early years in classrooms full of students who were largely disregarded.
The day my whole life changed, the day I decided that I was valuable–was the day that someone asked me for help. Until then, I was the one who needed needed needed. When those words were uttered, ‘Norman, can you help me?’–I became important.’
Your friend Joanna is right–we have to let others feel important–and not in a fake way. No patronizing, simply think about the other person, and what it is that they do so well, or have a better grasp of, or are available for–and ASK.
melissa @ the inspired room says
Oh yes. Those are very hard words. I just explained to someone at our church that had trouble ACCEPTING help that they need to accept it because it gives others a chance to grow in becoming like Christ. Asking for help and receiving it is a blessing for others, so don’t think of it as a burden!! I know how hard it is to ask though. I tend to do everything myself and I need to grow in letting others help me.
🙂
Lori @ Just Pure Lovely says
I’ve had people suggest it’s pride, too, but it’s not. I don’t like to be a bother, either, and misinterpret all sorts of unassociated signs, like eye twitching and nose rubbing to mean, “she’s being booooring!” or “why is she bothering me with this!?” and so…I tend to backtrack. Well. I’m glad you’re you and that you shared this!
Kelly@ The Feathered Nest says
Me, too!
Love your blog and have been reading a few archives, I will be back when I have more time. So much of what you share resonates with me:-)
Can’t wait to read more!
Sarah says
I just found your site and am anxious to sit and do some reading–your post today is good. Joanna got it right!
Angie @ Many Little Blessings says
Totally agree about allowing others to help. It’s hard to do, but I have thought of it differently after I went to a retreat at church and we were specifically told that the team that was putting on the retreat were there to serve us. If we didn’t allow them to do that (by letting them help us, get things for us, etc.) then it would take away their chance to be closer to Jesus by serving others.