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My Secret Sickness

This post is linked to Friday Fails, Hosted by My Blessed Life.

Friday Fails

I have a friend from church, we’ll call her Michelle. ‘Cause that’s her name. Anyway. Michelle reads my blog, but she’d never been to my house. She’s always teasing me that she’s going to pop in someday and see if my bed is made. I laugh, but inside a small part of me starts to sweat every time she says that. She is the sweetest woman, and totally joking. But I still sweat.

This weekend, I hosted our women’s Bible study at my house. I signed up a month ago, and a month ago I swore to myself that I would make sure my bed was made that day so I could show Michelle. (Note: The moral of this story is going to be that you shouldn’t swear anything to anyone, including yourself.)

I went further. Not only would Michelle be able to see my bed, I would leave all my doors open when they all came over so I could be like one of those awesome women who gives tours of their home when visitors come. It should be noted that one of the women actually showed us her closet when we visited her house. It was immaculate.

I used to give tours of my little house, too. Then I got distracted by life and never quite caught up.

So. Saturday came. All visible areas were reasonably clean. The air was filled with the smell of bleach and furniture polish. My bed was indeed made. However, next to my bed was a laundry basket full of junk I hadn’t had time to put away. Next to that, I had shoved in our workboxes and racks to make room in my living room. We won’t even talk about the state of my nightstand.

My bedroom is directly off of my living room. No hallway barrier or anything. So, the door stayed closed. There’s only two other rooms in my house. Our girls’ bedrooms and what we call the game room. Friday afternoon, I made sure these rooms were clean so I could leave the doors open and not be ashamed. Saturday morning, that dream was gone. It happens so fast.

All morning, my worst fear was that someone was going to need to use our second bathroom, which is connected to our bedroom. I even considered saying it was broken because I was that scared of someone walking through my room. Too bad I can’t lie.

It’s not like we live in squalor. From what I’ve seen, our house is pretty typical for that of a homeschooling family with kids. Yet, somehow, despite the fact that I was raised by a mom who always said, ‘They’re coming to see us, not the house,’ I have set impossible standards for myself. I have come a long way in the last few years, because I realized that if I waited for my house to be perfect, I would never have company.

But still. I don’t want anyone to see my messiness. It’s like a secret sickness. I can talk about it and blog about it, but I don’t want you seeing it! I know, I know. It’s just clutter for goodness’ sakes! It’s not like I’m one of those people who is going to turn up on Oprah for the wretched state of my house.

Fortunately, the morning went by without anyone needing my second bathroom. Someone even commented on how clean and pretty my house was. And because I am annoyingly honest, I said, “Well, don’t open my bedroom door! I threw all my crap in there.”

And Michelle? I think she could see the fear in my eyes. She didn’t joke once about checking to see if my bed was made.

So, I have new goals. To get my house in good enough order to give people tours next time they come over. And to stop beating myself up when it’s not perfect.

And to show Michelle my closet.

Head on over to My Blessed Life to read other Friday Fails!

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  1. says

    So funny – my bedroom is ALWAYS the last room to be cleaned and organized. It is the “drop zone” for everything I want hidden away. Which I’m sure my hubby really apreciates… :-)
    Found your blog on My Blessed Life and love it!

  2. says

    Me too! I was the most horrid housekeeper for years, then I had enough and was able to conquer the clutter. I had a house clean enough to give tours for about three years. Then about two years ago I started to lose it and the last few months have been awful again. So I’m whipping myself back into “house tour” shape! :)
    .-= Cheryl@SomewhatCrunchy´s last blog ..Gross! =-.

  3. says

    Oh, my goodness! That’s totally what’s happened to me — I got distracted by life and have never gotten caught up! I’m glad to finally realize exactly what happened.

    Oh, and if it makes you feel any better. I haven’t made my bed since sometime last week. I keep telling myself it’s because I’m going to change the sheets, but I haven’t done that yet either.

  4. says

    I used to just kill myself keeping the house clean for visitors. Let’s just say I am over that. Not intentionally, I just don’t do it anymore. I don’t really know why. Just reading this made me anxious about housework. Crazy!

    Maybe I should get on this, too.

  5. says

    I too am working on getting my house in order! I want my house to look “good” so if someone just drops in, I won’t feel ashamed. I need to get over my laziness! :( Thank you for this great post!

  6. Joyful Joyful says

    So I am scrolling through the comments so I can comment on the bottom that I too, have an awful bedroom. Funny thing is, post after post someone else says, Me TOO! Hee hee. I love it. My bedroom might take the cake though. In every house we have lived in, we have never fully unpacked our room or decorated or anything. I get all the other rooms nice. Each room has a theme to the decor, places where things go, and such but when it comes to our room, Im just at a loss! Should we do purple? Green? Blue? What style should we decorate it? Our dressers clash and my bed spread…lets say its unique. My husbands sister made us and extra extra big “quilt” with panels of a print of angels and words next to them to Amazing Grace. Its awful ugly but we never fight over the blankets!
    Before when company would come I would pick up the room and vac. because someone might need the potty or, I wouldn’t clean and just shut the door. There have been many times I have said, ” Close your eyes when you go in there!!”
    But now, we have three pottys and I dont have to worry about my room!! ;)

  7. says

    Found you on the site that sells a blogging book. Your blog is darling!!! I would love to feature it on my Blog sometime. CUTE!


  8. mamala says

    Well we both know that my tombstone will not read WHAT A HOUSEKEEPER!
    Ehh–but life is short.
    Now I must say that our house is head and shoulders above what it used to be, and there are legit reasons why:
    1. Our four little kids grew up.
    2. New house has AMPLE storage.
    3. Hubby is home from work and bored, so he cleans.
    4. Our four little kids grew up.
    There was never time to worry about the condition of my home when all of you kids were home–life had much more to offer than a clean counter.
    I do not regret for one minute any of our hurried scurrying about when an unexpected guest dropped by. We just made room on the couch for them, stopped what we were doing, and shared our day.
    Just like Mary did when Jesus came.

  9. says

    LOVE it!!! So good to know everyone’s not perfect…oh wait…no one is!!! Thanks for sharing!!!

    And thanks for sharing THE BLESSED LIFE’s site…going to check it out now!!! Brand new to your site and glad to be here!!!

    @ The Plum Life

  10. says

    You TOTALLY made my day! I can so relate. I mean, really. I can TOTALLY relate. I have impossible standards for myself and my house too.

    Now that it’s on the market, I have to have it ready to be shown at the drop of a hat…and I do a fair amount of shoving and stuffing too. Ha!

    Thanks for linking up to Friday Fails! ;)
    .-= Myra @ My Blessed Life´s last blog ..Chili’s Review & Giveaway! =-.

  11. says

    Just blog hopped over and am devouring every word you’ve ever written. Not in a creepy way. Uh. Okay. I totally relate to this secret sickness!!! My aunt came over once to wish me happy birthday (she got the date wrong) and asked to use my bathroom that hadn’t been cleaned in I don’t know how long. I mean who “stops by for a sec” then asks to use the bathroom?! This has happened so many times. AND my bedroom door is ALWAYS closed! Sometimes I run to close it before I even open the door – haha! One time I even had a laundry basket, full of junk from my kitchen table that I’d literally swept into the basket moments before company arrived, stay in my room just like that through 2 years and a move. I’m BAD at housekeeping. I’m totally making your binder though. The menu/shopping list thing is pure genius!! Thank you :)
    .-= Nicole´s last blog ..Heard from Marshall today… =-.

  12. says

    Is really amazing, You’re pretty experienced blogger. I’ve became a member of the feed and show off onward to help within pursuit of additional of your amazing posting. Likewise, I’ve shared your website inside my social networks

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