honey 35 high

When the Spirit Doesn’t Thrill You

I’m standing in a makeshift church, singing quietly so I can hear the voices of the saints I am surrounded by. I smile inside. This must be what heaven is like. I close my eyes and pour my heart out to the Lord. He is worthy to be praised!

My scalp is tingling and goose bumps cover my body.

God is here. I feel Him.

I am so lost in this moment that for all I know I could be the only one still standing and singing. The music ends and I squeeze the hand of the man next to me. He squeezes back and I know he knows exactly what I’m thinking. Warm and fuzzy inside, it’s almost a reflex to offer a prayer of thanks for my husband.

God is so good.

Nothing thrills me quite like the Holy Spirit.

While lying in bed in the middle of the night, suddenly overcome by a God-given burden to lift someone up in prayer, my heart is full.

When receiving an answer to a prayer I haven’t yet uttered, my knees almost give out and the tell-tale shivers take over my body once again.

When opening my Bible and hearing as distinctly as if God’s own voice were speaking, tears well up in my eyes. He knows my name.

I swear it’s a glimpse of heaven.

God is good.

And yet.

There are days, weeks that go by when I don’t feel Him.

No warm fuzzies.

No goose bumps.

No flushed face and tingly scalp.

No glimpses.

Just an ordinary girl, trying to make her way through ordinary days. Bickering kids and a tired husband. A mile long list of to-do’s and no end in sight.

Prayers offered up, Bible read, songs sang.

God is here. But I don’t feel Him.

And that is…. fine.

Because I know in my heart, mind, and soul that God is here.

Whether I can feel it in this moment or not.

While a wellspring of thanksgiving doesn’t pour out of my soul on its own, I am still thankful for the man next to me.

I might be praying from a list and not from a pressing reminder from God, but He still hears me.

I dig into the Word only to find my mind wandering and the water in my eyes is due to the everlasting yawn I’ve been working on since I got out of bed. That’s okay. He still knows my name.

God is good.

He is worthy to be praised!

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  1. Hannah @ a Quiet Spot says

    Angela, your post reminds me of a chapter I read recently in the excellent book, “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World.” it encouraged me to keep spending time consistently with the Lord, without relying on or even expecting a Feeling. We have to believe, even in the dry-feeling times, that His Word doesn’t return void, that calling on His name always saves us, and so many other things He has promised in His Word. Thanks for sharing; we always need the reminder.
    Hannah @ a Quiet Spot´s last blog post ..You Mean Im Not Alone

  2. says

    Angela-I found your blog a few days ago and am so glad i did. there IS an art of being home-so much of my time, i fear, is wasted-when precious moments surround me. thanks for all the encouragement & inspiration at homegrown mom-like this post.

  3. says

    What a beautiful post. Thank you for this. Such true statements. We serve such a good God that never changes and can never be moved. What a blessing to be able to lean on such a faithfulness.

  4. adrienne says

    I thought I was the only one whose scalp tingled in church!! There are times when I don’t feel it, and I know it’s me and not Him because, yes, He is always with me and always deserving of my praise.

  5. gina says

    Great post. It’s all about obedience. We do it because we love the Lord and we show Him we love Him by obeying Him (hmmm…sounds like something I’ve told my kids many times before). Sometimes it’s beyond wonderful and sometimes it’s mundance…but He remains glorious despite ourselves.

  6. says

    This is so true, and I’m sure every Christian feels like this. Sometimes you’re like, “wow, God is so amazing, I can feel Him right here.” And sometimes it’s just not as evident. And that’s OKAY. It is good to hear(read) someone else say that.

  7. says

    I was suggested this blog via my cousin. I’m no longer positive whether this post is written through him as no one else recognise such unique about my trouble. You’re amazing! Thank you!

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