When praying for God’s will, be ready for it.

Three years ago, I started to pray that God would give me direction as to whether I should pursue full-time employment and keep our kids in private school, or stay working at home a few hours a week and send them to public school. God completely and totally changed my heart and here we are in our second year of homeschooling.

Last year, in July, I applied for a paid blogger position with a shopping blog. I sent in two sample posts I thought were fantastic and awaited a response. Nothing. Meanwhile, the ministry in my own blog found direction and purpose. Four months later, I realized that one of my email accounts wasn’t even coming to my outlook inbox. It was an account I had set up for kind of extra emails. I had inadvertently sent the application from that account.

I don’t know why I was surprised to find that the very first email that had been sitting in my online account with seven hundred others was a reply from the company I applied to. They were very interested and wanted to speak with me by phone. That was the very day my emails stopped being delivered. I laughed. God had already completely and totally changed my heart to focus on a ministry through my own site. Had I gotten that position, my own blog and the blessing of ministry would have been abandoned.

A few months ago, I heard about a blogging conference for Christian women. Oh, I so wanted to go. I wanted to be encouraged and inspired, learn new things, and best of all… meet Sarah Mae, Jessica, Angie, Cheryl, Stef and countless other amazing ladies.

I prayed that God would send me. I sent out sponsorship letters. I prayed. I came up with an ebook to sell and earn my way. I prayed. I tweeted endlessly, following the conference hashtag and keeping up with the women going. Then I prayed some more.

Then I went on a vacation with my husband and was off Twitter for a week. My enthusiasm for the conference was waning. This morning, I prayed again to ask God to send me and I was overwhelmingly convinced that I no longer wanted to pursue going.

The conference is a day’s flight away and four days long. I have never been away from my family that long and I’m not sure I want to start doing that now. Bringing them with me would take an act of God. And God has completely and totally changed my heart. I will no longer pursue this conference. I told God that if He desires me there, He is going to have to bring it to my front door. I’m done chasing it.

The peace that settled in my heart at that second truly surpasses my own understanding.

Do you pray for what you want or for God’s will? Living in God’s will seems scary sometimes, but what we forget is His peace is part of the deal. How kind our God is to change our very heart’s desire instead of forcing His plan on us. Sometimes He gives us the desires we already have. Sometimes He gives us desires we didn’t even know we had. Sometimes, He changes our desires.

All we have to do is be open. Pray for His will. Mean it. Listen. Be still. Obey.