Do you have secret dreams and desires?

Ideas so awesome and seemingly unreachable that you blush to even think of them? As if little old you could possibly do… that?

I do. A few, actually. Some, I will treasure deep in my heart until the Lord releases me from the desires or fulfills them. A couple I will share here with you today. But first, some background.

I am, in a word, shy. Timid around new people. At times, socially awkward. I can pound out my thoughts here almost too fast for my fingers to keep up, but ask me in person what a blog and I stammer and fidget, my mind blank and tongue tied.

If my husband or mom is with me, I can breathe. I can hide behind them and smile and nod. Send me into a room full of strangers alone, though, and I’m toast.

So it will probably surprise anyone that knows me to hear that one of my deep desires is to spend a few days with women I’ve never met at a writing conference. Can you imagine? Little old me, meeting new people. Speaking in public. Pitching my book to a publisher. Gasp.

The conference is She Speaks, presented by Proverbs 31 Ministries. Today, I opened my blog feed reader to find that Lysa TerKeurst posted this fabulous opportunity to apply for a scholarship to the conference. If you are a woman that writes, leads women’s ministry, and/or speaks, just reading this conference description is going to make you cry and long to go.

Here’s a description from the website:

She Speaks is a life-changing conference for women of every generation seeking to explore the tug on her heart to reach out to the world for Jesus. Through She Speaks, Proverbs 31 Ministries encourages and equips women who are called by God to share our mission to bring God’s peace, perspective and purpose to today’s busy woman. Sharing God’s truth with love is not only a holy calling but a remarkable responsibility. We believe by equipping women to become more effective at sharing the Word of God, we multiply our efforts to reach a hurting world with the life-transforming hope of Jesus.

If I were to attend the conference, I would be able to take classes from both the speaking and the writing track. Here is the part where I share my secret desires. When I began sharing my story here in the I Wasn’t Always Homegrown series, I received cemails telling me I need to write a book.

What I didn’t tell anyone is that I am writing a book! I’ve been working on a novel for some time, but it was put on the back burner when I began blogging. Since the beginning of this year, I have had a renewed desire to finish and the story drew me right back in like an old friend. The comments and emails really encouraged me to keep going. As long as I’m sharing my big-time dreams, I’ll tell you that I should be finished by summer and would love the opportunity to meet with an editor about getting it published. Even though the very idea makes my heart skip a beat.

I have to say I am interested in the speaking track as well. A couple of years ago, I took a class at our church and had to give a message to a room full of people. Several people told me afterward that I should pursue speaking. Though it makes me blush to say it out loud here, it is something I’ve thought about.

I believe anyone can reach their dreams when they are God-given. When it comes to me, though, it just seems silly. But these last few months, I’ve also had a little why not in my heart. My book being published someday? Why not? An opportunity to share my testimony and the amazing works God has done in my life? Why not? Walking into a room full of amazing women I’ve never met and not melting into a puddle? Why not?

Win a scholarship to attend a conference that is way out of my league, not to mention my budget? Why not?

What are your secret dreams and desires?