What a Man Wants

What do men want? There are plenty of theories out there and they all pretty much boil down to the same thing. Food, respect, and you-know-what. Maybe not in that order.

Before you can become the kind of wife your husband wants to rush home to, you have to find out what he wants. Sure, you can read all the latest marriage books, but the best way to find out is to ask him.

I was part of a marriage group a couple of years ago and we had an inspired leader who had the men and women separate and write a letter together telling the spouses what a perfect day would be.

I’m not sure why were all surprised when the women’s note focused on things we wanted to do for our husband, and the men’s note focused on… things they wanted us to do for them. It was kind of annoying, but once we moved past that, I learned some valuable things.

My husband said that not everything in the note applied to him, and he was kind enough to fill me in on what his perfect day would look like. I made it my mission to create that day for him, over and over again.

I failed miserably, of course. Because no one is that good for that many days in a row. However, it did bring great insight into my husband’s heart and gave me direction on just how to please him.

Ask your husband! You might be surprised how simple his requests might be.

I’m not actually going to share what my husband said, because that’s personal. But I will share what the men overall said.

What the men wanted


The leader of our group started to read the letter, it was a story written by a happy husband. He was talking about how hard his day was, and how he just wanted to get home. When he got home, his cheerful wife had cleaned the house, whisked the kids off to Grandma’s, and made a simple dinner. The night went on from there, and the happy husband got even happier.

Pretty simple, right?

Sure, this is just one group of five or six guys, but I have a feeling their thoughts are somewhat indicative of men in general.

That note has stayed in my mind for the last three years! Not that I can whisk off our kids every day, or even that my husband would want me to. I’ll tell you what I think it’s all really about.

Preferred and Prepared For

Everything the wife had done in the perfect day letter came down to this: She was thinking of her husband all day, was looking forward to seeing him, and had prepared for him to come home.

Your guy’s wishes might be a little different than what the men in our group said, but I am pretty sure every man would want to feel like his wife had spent a little time preparing for him and looked forward to his homecoming.

That’s something we can all work on. Today, I encourage you to ask your husband what his perfect ordinary day would look like. Then, find one small thing you can do to make it happen.

Related Posts:
I love my husband book
Choosing Cheerfulness

Parenting Advice from Winnie the Pooh

I was reading Winnie the Pooh to Soleil the other day. Pooh had eaten so much during his visit with Rabbit, that when he went to leave, he got stuck on his way out the hole, his head out but his bottom half still in. Rabbit (going out the back door) went to fetch Christopher Robin and…

…when he came back with Rabbit and saw the front half of Pooh, he said, “Silly old Bear,” in such a loving voice that everybody felt hopeful again.

Be still my mommy’s heart. Oh, that I could be that kind of mom. The kind of mom whose very words are so full of love that everybody feels hopeful again. Like on the day when Soleil decided to paint her nails and got nail polish all over the kitchen floor.

I wish I had just loving said, “Silly old Bear!” Instead of gasping dramatically, “what did you do?” And then groaning about the mess. Maybe next time.

Who knew you could get parenting advice from Winnie the Pooh? Reminds me of a Proverb I love.

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. (16:24)

Hmm… honeycomb. Pooh loves honey. Maybe Winnie the Pooh is deeper than we all thought.

Shop With Me: Gifts for the Modern Homegrown Mom

The following links are affiliate links,so if you buy something, you’ll be helping to contribute to this site. Read my disclosure statement here.

Shop with me! I am so excited about doing this monthly post. Firstly, I love to shop. Since I hardly ever have money to actually go shopping, I can now shop vicariously through all of you. I now have a valid reason to browse shoes for hours!

Secondly, these kinds of posts are fun to write. While I’m pretend shopping, I imagine someone getting a great idea for that person on their list who has everything. I also find great ideas for those elusive people on my list.

Thirdly, in addition to my June Cleaver fantasy, I had a Fashion Editor fantasy when I was younger. No, we’re not doing high fashion here. But as I’m pasting little photos into the layout… I can pretend.

So here are my Gift Ideas for the Homegrown Moms and Girls in Your Life - I am shooting for a sort of modern June C. here. I can not be the only one out there with this fantasy.


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Take Hope to Heart Necklace. I am in love with this necklace. It is undoubtedly ladylike, yet a little rough around the edges. And see that little pearl? Hello, June. I entered a giveaway and tried to win this necklace. You had to say who you’d give the necklace to and I lied and said my mom. I think that’s why I didn’t win. The computerized winner-picker just knewAn added bonus: Enter coupon code Gift25 and get 25% off until December 14th.

childjosephineredpinkpolkab

Goodness. Would you look at this Jessie Steele Apron? It Comes in little girls size, too! The only thing cuter than a hostess apron is matching mother-daughter aprons! I’m thinking flour in our hair, sprinkles everywhere, and Christmas tunes on the radio. These aprons are meant for entertaining, though, aren’t they? I guess we could follow up with a teddy bear tea party. What a sweet gift this would be for a mommy and her little girl.

kindle

For the book loving mommy – Kindle Wireless Reading Device I drool over this baby every time I log onto Amazon. Every avid reader should have one of these. Unfortunately, I have the habit of escaping so fully into stories (read: I ignore everyone around me) that my husband rations my books. I will never be allowed to have thousands of books at my fingertips. And I probably shouldn’t be.

Good housekeeping
The ultimate link between June’s 1950′s and today. If you’re looking for a cheap but thoughtful gift, Good Housekeeping magazine is only $5 for a year right now! I don’t know how long that price will last, but that’s a great deal. At that price, I’d pick one up for myself, too. I don’t have to, though, because my stepmom Debby is kind enough to give me her issues every month. Thanks, Debby!

Sandals
When I go to bed tonight, I am going to dream about these Peacock Sandals. Can you imagine cooking up a pot roast in these? Even if I had the $175 to buy them, I wouldn’t have anywhere to wear them. But a girl can dream. Once I arise from my dream of whipping potatoes in stilettos, here’s what I’ll actually wearing this holiday season:

slippers

Microwaveable Slippers. Nope, I’m not kidding. I live in microwaveable slippers for most months out of the year. This would be a great present for that always-cold woman you know. Just be sure to warn her not to exceed the recommended zapping time. If she does, she might catch her slippers on fire and her house might smell like burned popcorn for a week. And then her husband and children might remind her every time she goes to microwave her new ones to “not keep them in too long.” Just might want to warn her of that.

Did you have as much fun shopping as I did?

Giveaway Winners

I sorted out the entries for the A Woman After God’s Own Heart giveaway, and entered the numbers into Random.org and the winners are…

JOY to the world and Trisha!

Congrats, ladies! Send me your mailing address so I can mail out your book.

Thanks to all who entered. If you didn’t win, you can get a copy from my Homegrown Mom Shop for as little as $3.50 used.

And if you’re thinking I’m horrible because my mom entered this contest and didn’t win… well I told you it was random! But don’t worry, I’m pretty sure she’ll find one in her Christmas stocking, wink,wink. Shh!

Every Mom Needs a Break

I was going to call this Topic something cute, like Refresh or Renew. But let’s just call it what it is. Every Mom Needs a Break.

I hope I don’t have to convince you of this. Every. Mom. I’m just gonna assume that you’re on board with me here and dive right into how to make this happen. If you don’t believe that you need a break, then send me an email and I’ll set you straight.

How? How? How?


I asked myself that question a while back because I had slipped out of the habit of taking time to reboot. I pointed the question towards my lovely friends on Facebook and Twitter and got some interesting ideas:

A mandatory daily rest time for kids while mom hangs out. Alone. Sounds so lovely, and I’ve actually done this a few times. It just very rarely works with our schedule. When it does, I usually use that time to catch up on housework.

Putting the kids in bed earlier and having time alone then. This might work, but it is my only time alone with my hubbs.

Waking earlier. Okay, I’ve done this, too. And that time is strictly for God. Then Facebook. Sometimes, Facebook is the only adult I talk to all day.

Upon observing these answers, I started to realize lack of time was not my problem. I actually get little breaks here and there quite a bit. So what was the problem? The problem is, I was wasting time!

Instead of taking advantage of little breaks in our day, I was using them to get more work done, text my husband, or comment on someone’s post about what they ate for lunch. I decided that I would be more intentional about making time each day to refresh and renew. (Sorry, I had to sneak it in there somewhere)

That means I had to start writing it on my to-do list. Right between giving the dog a bath and taking out the trash. Oh, wait. That’s my husband’s list.

Anyway. Make the time, put it on the list, mark your calendar. Post it on the mirror.

Next, decide how often you need to get away


Candle
My ideal would be about 20 minutes a day, an hour every week, and few hours one Saturday each month.

That is so not happening. What is much more realistic is about 40 minutes on any given day. I don’t come close to getting in every day, but I do much more often than I used to when I just let life happen to me.

The magic thing about 40 minutes is that you can watch a whole episode of Gilmore Girls on DVD while doing some exercises if you want. Once you decide when and how you’ll work in your mommy break, now comes the fun part.

You get to decide what to do


I am an introvert at heart. I crave time alone and when I don’t get it often, I begin to get a major case of the crankies. It took me thirty years to figure this out, but now I just accept it. This is who I am. It’s not that I don’t like to hang out with friends, I do. I also still need to be able to talk to people on a regular basis (hence the whole Facebook thing).

You might be more outgoing and really need to get out and be with your girl friends once a week. Maybe an hour alone reading in a library sounds like torture to you. The key is to find what makes you tick. What floats your boat as my mom would say. Then, you know, do it.

I’ll be posting in this category regularly with ideas for what we’re going to start calling “My Mommy Break.” So let’s get intentional and start planning some time.

Do you take time out for yourself? How do you work it into your day?

A Sneak Peek at My Monthly Newsletter

I just finished my first monthly newsletter, Room by Room. I am posting this issue, but subsequent newsletters will only be available through email. Sign up for the monthly newsletter here. This is different from signing-up for the blog posts. The newsletter will come once a month and contain articles not on the blog. I would love to hear any ideas or suggestions for future issues.

Happy reading!

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