2009 March

Story of One Skeptical Mom

March 16, 2009 By Homegrown Mom Filed Under: Homeschool

A few weeks ago, the woman who does our homeschool group newsletter asked me to write something encouraging for the parents. I thought I’d share it with you all. Here it is:

A year ago, I sat with my husband watching a reality show featuring a homeschool family. The kids were not only odd and socially inept. They were weird. And the parents? Definitely off their rockers. We laughed and felt sorry for these poor kids and felt glad our kids were happy, well-adjusted children.

A few months later, I began to feel as if God were leading us to homeschool our kids. It had never even occurred to me before, and everything in me resisted. I begged God to not make me do this. Anything but this! Homeschool kids are odd and socially inept. Remember that show, God? I don’t want my kids like that! And when the pressing on my heart didn’t go away…Why, God, why?

Slowly, God began to change my heart and at the same time, people came into our lives that were homeschoolers. Wonderful, godly, amazing people. Wacky, for sure, but in an awesome way.

I became close to two women at church who happened to be homeschooling their kids. Happy, well-adjusted kids, in fact. I got to see homeschool in action, and it looked…fun. I began to imagine teaching my kids at home, and for the first time, it didn’t seem weird.

After much prayer, my husband I agreed to take the leap. We would bring our kids home from school and start a new adventure. I still wasn’t sure why God wanted this, but we no longer had doubts that it was His will.

Within a couple of weeks, we met more families that were planning to homeschool the following year. As far as we knew, we had never known any homeschoolers. Yet, after sharing our decision with friends, we found out that some people we knew casually were homeschooled as kids or currently homeschooling. Suddenly, we were surrounded by homeschoolers!

God could have used many means to get our attention. When whispers to our heart were questioned, when coincidences like magazine articles were easily put aside, He used people – specifically homeschool families – to steer us to this decision.

I thank God now that He led us to this place, teaching our kids at home. I still ask why. Why didn’t I always do this? Why did I ever let someone else raise my kids for six hours a day? Any why on earth did I ever watch reality TV anyway?

To those of you who’ve been teaching your kids at home, please know this: Someone somewhere may take on this lifestyle because of what you’re doing today. God might just use you to convince a skeptical mom.

Sitting in my living room watching that show a year ago, I never would have guessed that over the next year, God would lead us to not only get rid of television in our home, but to homeschool our own kids.

Today, I am so in love with homeschool that I barely recognize that agonized mom begging God to not make her do this. I pray that one day God may use us to help another family.

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My Timer, My Friend

March 14, 2009 By Homegrown Mom Filed Under: Domestically Challenged?

I got a few inches cut off my hair a while back and my first thought was, it’ll take much less time to dry! Curious as to just how much time I might be saving, I timed myself the next day found it took me only seven minutes to blow out and curl my hair. Seven minutes! I really had no excuse anymore to not do my hair.

Inspired, I began timing myself for all sorts of tasks. Making a healthy smoothie for snack instead of reaching for the nearest thing in the pantry? Four minutes. Including cleaning the blender and putting it away!

Filing my nails, reading a short devotion in the afternoon to boost my day, even filling my water bottle before I leave the house…all for a few measly minutes of my day.

Like so many mamas, I have all the time in the world to wait for my five year old to brush her hair all by herself, or to help my seventh grader with a math problem. When it comes to the little things that will make my own day brighter, though, I too often mumble… I don’t have time!

The timer has shown me otherwise, like when I say I have nothing to wear and my husband points to my jam-packed closet and answers, Really, Ang, nothing to wear? Just the other day I was about to begin my day with a wet mop that would dry frizzy and my ticking little friend reminded me. Really, Angela? You don’t have seven minutes? And off to the hair dryer I went.

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Mommy Bear on the Loose

March 11, 2009 By Homegrown Mom Filed Under: MamaMusings

At the park I saw an older boy knee my five year old in the back because she was taking too long to go down the slide. Grr.

An adult friend of the family insulted my daughter’s appearance in front of her and a roomful of people. Grrr.

A family member dotes on one child and ignores the other, to the point of bringing gifts for only one of them on a holiday. Grrrr.

While I can take dreadful treatment from people and try to see them with God’s eyes instead of reacting instantly…I can’t say the same for dreadful treatment of my kids. Or even slightly rude treatment.

When it’s one of my girls being hurt in any way, my stomach tightens and a low growl begins. Sometimes, I have visions of swiping one’s head off with my huge paw. Grr, mommy bear is on the loose!

The good news is, after being a mom for twelve years, I’ve gotten somewhat better at restraining myself. I watch, I wait. I pray. At the park, when Soleil came smiling down the slide, the boy following after her laughing, I settled down. He may have been a little rougher than I like, but Soleil wasn’t hurt. All was fine.

In the case of the adult who insulted my daughter, I saw that that she was just a bitter, insecure woman. Then I let her have it. I kept my bear claws in and avoided insulting her right back–though I can’t deny I was tempted– and plainly told her to shut up. Sometimes your kids need to see that, right?

With the family member, a polite but succinct conversation made it clear that they would not be welcome in our lives if they did not treat all three of my daughters with love. I don’t think I growled, but I came pretty close. Still, their head was still intact after our chat, so I’m thinking I did pretty well.

As you can see, I may have gotten better at taming my inner bear, but the protective instinct still rises up in me awfully quickly. I have stopped trying to figure out why my body and mind reacts this way. For now, I’ll just be glad that I have the ability to think before I growl.

Well, that, and that’s it’s been at least a few years since I’ve swiped anyone’s head off.

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Choosing Cheerfulness

March 10, 2009 By Homegrown Mom Filed Under: A Wife to Rush Home to

Something I have been thinking and reading about lately is how we greet our husbands. This seems like such a small detail, but I believe it can make a huge difference in your husband’s day…and yours. This includes when your hubby comes home, or you see him first thing in the morning, but I want to focus particularly on phone calls.

Many couples I know talk to each other several times during the day. When your husband calls you, is your voice cheerful? Do you let him know you are happy to see him or hear from him, or do you start in with a litany of complaints?

This can happen to anyone, but it can be especially hard for stay at home moms. Your husband may be the only grown-up voice you hear all day, and when he calls it’s tempting to let him know just how hard you’re working. Isn’t that why we complain, after all? I think deep down inside, we think our husbands are going to say…Wow! Poor thing, she’s having a crappy day. She works so hard! I sure do appreciate her! I should take her somewhere special!

I doubt this is the case for most guys. Instead, they’ll probably feel annoyed and even resentful. And who looks forward to coming home later when he already knows his wife is in a bad mood? Proverbs says that a nagging wife is like a constant dripping.

Recently, Eric got us a new phone plan that included texting. After we spent a couple days texting back and forth, he asked me at home, “How do you like texting?’

“It’s okay,” I said.

“Yeah, it’s nice. We don’t have to worry about what’s wrong, or whatever.”

Oops. A frequent question during our calls has been, “What’s wrong?” Eric will hear the distraction or moodiness in my voice and for some reason that question drives me nuts. So I will say, “Nothing,” with an annoyed tone, or worse tell him just how frustrating my day has been. When he made that comment about texting, I knew it was time to change that habit.

I said at the beginning that this can make a huge difference in your husband’s day, and yours too. Once I decided to put a smile on my face so my husband could hear it in my voice, something happened. I didn’t just brighten his day; I began to feel better myself!

Not that I had been grumping around in a moody state all day. But the truth is, Eric is the one person I want to tell when the kids are acting up, or I have a headache, or a friend has been rude, or the dishwasher isn’t working, or whatever.

I began to hold my tongue and reminded myself to look at the good side of things so I could present a happy picture to my husband when he called.

Over time, looking at the good side for Eric’s sake, turned into…looking at the good side. The things I was whining about weren’t really all that bad. A grumpy kid is still a healthy kid I love and adore. A rude friend is still a friend that I am blessed to have. A sink full of dirty dishes suggests we’ve had plenty of food to eat.

Ideas for Today:

When your husband calls, put a smile on your face before you say hello. It helps!

First, ask how he is and discern if you can do anything to brighten his day.

Right now, think of something great about your life so you are ready to thank your husband next time he calls and asks how you are.

Do you have a tip for greeting your husband cheerfully? I’d love to hear it!

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Even Paul’s Brain Didn’t Always Listen

March 9, 2009 By Homegrown Mom Filed Under: Following Jesus

It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. Romans 7:21 (The Message)

We were looking around a sports store after a long day of errands. Soleil, our five year old, was playing with an elliptical machine.

“Stop touching that,” Eric told her. She stopped, but as soon as we turned our heads, she was on it again. I held her hand and had her stand by me so she could only look longingly at the machine.

When we went to leave the store, she couldn’t resist playing with it one more time. In the parking lot, after scolding her, Eric said, “Why don’t you tell yourself when you want to do something I’ve told you not to do that your daddy isn’t going to like it? Then you’ll stop.”

“Well I try,” She said, completely anguished. “But my brain doesn’t listen!”

Well, Soleil is not alone. I too, try to tell myself to stop doing things but my brain just doesn’t listen. Like Paul says above, it happens so regularly it’s predictable!

Also like Paul, I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge. (verses 22-23)

Just knowing that this beloved apostle who wrote most of the New Testament felt this way gives me hope. Even so, I sometimes stumble in prayer, stuck in my confessions. I tell God I want to stop being so easily irritated or stop thinking unkind thoughts, but I doubt myself even as I say the words.

I can identify with Paul when he cries, I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question? (verse 24)

Fortunately for us, he answers his question: The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different. (verse 25)

How blessed are we that in place of condemnation, Paul reminds us of our hope in Christ.

So, then. Next time I tell myself to stop and my brain just doesn’t listen, instead of dwelling on my stupidity, I will return to the cross and thank God Jesus set things right.

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When God Speaks, You Don't Always Hear His Voice

March 6, 2009 By Homegrown Mom Filed Under: Following Jesus

Yesterday, I shared how dense I can sometimes be when God is trying to show me something about my life or heart. Sometimes, it is an attitude I need to change, an action I need to take, or sin I need to stop doing. Once in a while, it is something I need to share with others, but most often only after I have learned the lesson myself.

The Bible is our ultimate reliable source for all things. It has no ulterior motive, cannot be passed off as a coincidence, is absolutely 100% true, and powerful. Yet, if we’re not catching on during our quiet time who says God can’t or won’t use people, books, and even TV to get your attention?

Say God has been speaking quietly to your heart about reaching out to your neighbor and suddenly the sitcom you’re watching has the mom delivering cookies to her neighbor. You’re listening to the radio on the way to work and a caller calls in and shares how a neighbor blessed them. A magazine comes for you in the mail and the feature article is…guess what? Reaching Out to Your Neighbors! Might be time to bake some cookies.

Also, God can and does use people to speak to us. He may directly give someone a word for you, or they may just begin to talk about something you’ve been reading about on your own. Sometimes, someone will share a struggle or victory and it applies to your life at the moment.

How often I have sat in church, feeling so excited -even in times of conviction- because the pastor is speaking on a subject I’ve been running into all week.

Another way I have been blessed is through devotional books and bible studies. Just yesterday, I was a few days behind in my marriage book and when I went to do they study, the day I’d left off on applied perfectly to what God had been putting on my heart the last few days.

Later in the day, when I talked to my mom about the lesson God gave me regarding putting margin in my life and how it related to my ministry choices, she cried, “Read Oswald Chambers for today!” As soon as we were off the phone, I read My Utmost for His Highest, March 5. Yep. Perfect.

When these kinds of coincidences go on for days, or weeks, it’s easy to feel foolish for not catching on right away, or convicted for being so stubborn. However, I would rather focus on how great it feels to be so loved by God that He just keeps on going after me!

It is exhilarating to know that God knows me, no matter how many times I realize this.