2009 February

Old Memories of a New Season

February 27, 2009 By Homegrown Mom Filed Under: MamaMusings

A few years ago, I came home after my morning run to find my little toddler asleep in my bed. She sat up and gave me a grumpy look and went back to sleep. A feeling came over me, then…the end of an era. Soleil is our last little one and she had just decided to enjoy sleeping.

Until that morning, I had tip-toed around my house for a good two years, trying not to wake her. I was so moved by this that I emailed my mommy friends and reminded them that every stage of our babies lives are shorter than we think they’ll be.

I got an unexpected response from those moms, and later an email column called Life in the Mommyhood was born. That column has since graduated to the blog you’re reading, and I wanted to share with you how it all started. Below is the first column I sent out.

It’s funny to see how our life has changed since I wrote this, but I still want to encourage moms of young ones to enjoy their children.

Here it is:

A new season in the ‘Hood

Today opened a new chapter in my life. After being home for the last five years with little ones, I came home to an empty house for the first time. My daughter Coco is starting sixth grade and Soleil is at her first day of preschool. I surprised myself with just how okay I was. No sobbing or hanging out in Soleil’s new class too long. In fact I was the second mom to leave the classroom.

Not like when Coco started first grade at a new school and I sat awkwardly in a student chair as every other parent left. I sat right through circle time and math time, avoiding her teacher’s wary glances towards me. I stayed until first recess, which may have been a record. Today, though I was a brave girl and after snapping a few photos and chatting with the other anxious moms, I was on my way.

In full disclosure, I must tell you Soleil is only in preschool two days a week. You might say I am testing the waters, her lifejacket firmly secured, mommy no more than two feet away. I am slowly letting her go, not ready to see her swim across the pool on her own. Even if she can.

Considering this, all was fine until my husband called to see how I was. His concern moved something in me and the tears came fast and fierce “I’m okay, I’m probably just ovulating,” I rationalized through my sobs as my husband stayed on the line (in total fear, no doubt).

Then out of my mouth rushed, “I just didn’t think it would be quite so soon that no one needed me.” And there it was. I need to be needed. As Eric reassured me that our family still needs me, God quietly reminded my heart of the many blessings in my life. I felt a calming in my spirit as He also reminded me that while my babies may be big girls, my job has barely begun.

Although it seems a chapter in my life is closing, it is more a subtle shifting of seasons. Like the summer heat that lingers stubbornly as fall approaches, my own unique mommy style will linger just as stubbornly as the seasons of life change. Soleil will still want to show off her cartwheels because I’ll still clap with glee for each and every one. Coco is not going to stop our bedtime chats about cute boys, mean girls, and the inherent unfairness of yard duties, because I’ll still pretend not to notice it’s getting late.

Tonight, I won’t be as quick to scold as they laugh that high-pitched hysterical laugh, goofing off when they’re supposed to be brushing their teeth… because I know one day there will be no shrieking in the bathroom. Or in any other room.

I encourage you to make whatever season you are in your best one, because what’s next might be built on today. Seek smiles and hugs while your children still give them freely. Celebrate milestones, the big ones and especially the small ones. Make memories to take with you from season to season.

Your children may be swimming like fish across the pool or clinging frantically to you in their swim diaper. Either way, you’re living in the MommyHood. Seasons change swiftly around here. Enjoy it.

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Book of Centuries

February 26, 2009 By Homegrown Mom Filed Under: Homeschool

I’ve come across a great idea I am definitely going to implement next school year, and I wanted to share it with you. It’s called a Book of Centuries and seems to be pretty common amongst homeschoolers.

A Book of Centuries is a notebook where each 2 page spread represents 100 years. When studying different topics, you enter important facts and photos on the pages. You end up creating the ultimate timeline in a notebook.

I know, the last thing I need is one more notebook around my house J But, I am so excited about this idea for many reasons. First, I think it’s a great way for the kids to make connections between all the areas they’re studying. Also, I plan to make ours a family book, so it’s another great way to spend time together. Another reason I think this is cool is we’ll have a reminder of many things we learned about!

To read more about making your own book, lots of ideas for content, and a free blank template, go to:

Simply Charlotte Mason

I think this would be fun even for non-homeschool families. Sometimes, especially in older grades, your child may be studying several areas of history in different courses at the same time, and that makes it hard to connect the related events of our world.

Entering a few interesting facts after school might be a fun thing to start doing. In a few years, your student will probably begin to make connections on their own. It may be so much more interesting to study Ben Franklin in Science, for instance, when they get their book out and remember a few things they learned about the political climate of that time period, or other discoveries being made.

I wanted to start our book this year, and I still might get around to it, but so far, we are almost overwhelmed with all my great ideas (and notebooks) for school. Let me know if you have a Book of Centuries or are going to start one and we can swap ideas!

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Books for Godly Wives

February 25, 2009 By Homegrown Mom Filed Under: A Wife to Rush Home to

When organizing my bookshelf to suit my five fat files, I noticed that while I had only one book on parenting, I have an entire shelf of marriage books. This is probably because mothering comes pretty naturally to me, but being a godly wife requires constant growth on my part.

I have found that there several books that I return to often for encouragement and advice. I once told Eric, “If you see a stack of marriage books on my nightstand, you should give me a little extra patience because I’m having a hard day!”

Here are the books most often on my nightstand:

Power of a Positive Wife, by Karol Ladd

This was the first “Wife book” that I bought. The author’s tone is very upbeat and encouraging. Based on scripture and her own experiences, you’ll get lots of inspiration and ideas to grow as a godly, positive wife. Happy faces, hearts, and flowers are sprinkled throughout J and you can’t help but be cheerful while reading.

Sacred Influence, by Gary Thomas

This book shows how to be a Christ-like influence for your husband. Though the author initially irritated me at one point when he suggests that you take on the mindset of a mistress to keep your man happy, this chapter ended up being the most inspiring to me and it is severely highlighted.

A Woman After God’s Own Heart, by Elizabeth George

I’ve written about this book before. It has guidance from scripture and practical ideas to help wives in many areas. One of my favorites!

Power of a Praying Wife, by Stormie OMartin

I love this book, and most of all I love OMartin’s motto, “Shut up and pray.” With stories from her marriage and scriptures, she teaches how to pray over your husband as opposed to nagging him. Sample prayers end each chapter.

The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman

Though a Christian friend of mine said this book was psycho-babble, I still believe its premise. I have learned how to better express my love to Eric in the way that he appreciates best…and that never hurts.

Love and Respect, by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

We are currently going through this book and workbook, and so far we love it. It is based on Ephesians 5:33, reminding us that husbands must love their wives and wives must respect their husbands. Otherwise, they get into a crazy cycle when arguing. Dr. Eggerichs’ tone is very “We’ve been there, too!” Very hopeful!

Love for a Lifetime, by Dr. James Dobson

I love this book for sentimental reasons. It was a gift from the wedding venue were Eric and I got married, and I stored little slips of wrapping paper from our gifts inside the cover. It is great for a new couple, but also mature couples that want to nurture their marriage. I reread it often and appreciate Dr. Dobson’s timeless advice.

Last but not least… The book I go to daily for growth and guidance as a wife is my Bible! Prayer helps me to discern what God is trying to teach me on any given day.

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Dancing Fool

February 23, 2009 By Homegrown Mom Filed Under: Following Jesus

Oh yes, I’ll dance to God’s glory—more recklessly even than this.

2 Samuel 6:22 – The Message

Last week, I stood in my bathroom, waiting for the shower to heat up. Getting ready for my in-shower concert, I was humming a worship song in my head from church.

Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer

As I began to sing, I was reminded of a Bible study I had gone to that week. The leader had told us a beautifully woven story that brought to life the image of David, dancing practically naked in the streets. She ended her lesson encouraging us to praise God as freely as David had.

Inspired by the picture she had created for us, I began to dance. Instead of getting in my shower, I began to sing a little louder and move around my very narrow bathroom.

As steam filled the room, I was David, in the streets, full of joy, praising my God. My hands were raised high and my eyes were closed, although that had more to do with the wall-to-wall mirrors in my bathroom than anything else.

As I danced, a surprising thing happened. I forgot about my body and everything I hate about myself. My thoughts were only on God and how He really is my Strong Deliverer. As I offered up my little song and dance, I wonder if He was smiling, laughing, or shaking His head at me. Maybe He was saying, “Well it’s about time!”

While I’m not ready to strip down to my underwear and dance in the streets anytime soon, I’ll try to move out of the comfort of my bathroom more often and praise God unashamed…fully dressed of course.

If anyone questions me, may I have the courage to reply, as David did… “Oh yes, I’ll dance to God‘s glory—more recklessly even than this!”

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A Plan for the Housekeeping-Challenged

February 21, 2009 By Homegrown Mom Filed Under: Domestically Challenged?

This post is part of the Creating a Homekeeping Book Series

I said I would share my cleaning plan, and I will. First, though, I should say that there are lots of great systems out there, I am only sharing mine because maybe somewhere there is another mom who has the same kind of brain as me and will find this useful.

Also, a confession: I am great at coming up with systems, not so great at keeping up with them. Some weeks, my cleaning plan sits collecting dust while I attend to other things. However, when I do buckle down, this is the easiest way I’ve found of doing things. I’ve taken suggestions from several books and websites and made a plan that works for me.

It is slightly embarrassing to admit that I need this list! I am just not a natural housekeeper, which seems so unladylike! Yet, it is better to just face it already and do what I have to do to keep up. This is what I have to do to keep up.

My cleaning schedule has three sections, Daily (things I need to do each morning and evening), Weekly, and Declutter.

Here’s a week’s sample.

Daily:

Morning:

Laundry

Make bed (Yes, I need a reminder still)

Empty dishwasher

Go over priorities for day

Any evening chores not done

Evening:

Wipe down counters/toilets in bathrooms

Dishes/Counters/Kitchen table/Stove

Vacuum kitchen

Put away toys, mail, etc.

Dining room table cleared and cleaned

Go over lesson plans for next day

Weekly:

Monday: Living room

Tuesday: Kitchen

Wednesday: Bathroom/Bedroom/Closet

Thursday: Errands

Fridays: School area/Clean out purse and car/Plan school week

Saturday: Catch up on any chores not done

I try to spend an hour or so every day on weekly chores. It hardly ever happens, so oftentimes I am doing all my catching up on Saturdays. For each weekly area, I actually have a checklist with details for each room. (Such as, vacuum, dust, scrub shower, etc.) You would think after ten years in the same house I wouldn’t need it, but I actually still use this list.

Declutter:

Monday: Video cabinet

Tuesday: Pantry

Wednesday: Bathroom cabinet

Friday: Binders

When making my schedules, I added all the little areas that need regular de-cluttering. They repeat about every two months. I have 18 cleaning weeks, to coincide with my menu plans. This way, whatever week I am on, it is all there in my little binder: Menus, grocery lists, and cleaning schedules.

Tomorrow or Monday, I’ll share about making a homekeeping book for your daughters.

Read the complete series:
Homekeeping Book
Menu Planning: Part 1
Menu Planning Part 2
Shopping Lists, your Key to freedom
A Cleaning Plan for the Housekeeping challenged
Mini-Homekeeping Book for Girls

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Shopping Lists, Your Key to Freedom!

February 20, 2009 By Homegrown Mom Filed Under: Domestically Challenged?

This post is part of the Creating a Homekeeping Book Series.

Once you have your 13 weeks of meal plans, making a keyed shopping list will save even more time. I am going to share how I made my lists, then you can make the idea your own.

First, I made my lists in a spreadsheet, using excel. I also have my menus on spreadsheets.

Because we get paid every two weeks, I made our shopping lists for two weeks at a time.

The first spreadsheet I made was a basic list of things I would need to buy every two weeks, regardless of our menu. I separate my list into sections of the grocery store, which saves time once I’m at the store.

Things on my basic list include: milk, bread, cereal, eggs, etc. I include every staple I might need.

I save the basic list, and then copy it onto another worksheet. I label it weeks 1 and 2. At the top of the list, I list each dinner I have planned for the two week period. I assign each meal a letter, from A-J. Now comes the fun part. I go through each recipe and list every ingredient or side I’ll need. I actually list the amount right on the shopping list if it’s not something I have memorized. That way, I won’t be stuck wondering which size can of evaporated milk I need.

As I am listing ingredients on the list, I put the letter of the meal it corresponds with in front of the ingredient. For example, if I were making tacos and green beans and had assigned that meal to the letter A, my list might look like this:

A taco shells

A 1 lb. ground beef

A Cheddar cheese

A Lettuce

A Tomatoes

A Green beans

And so on.

If an ingredient is used for more than one meal, I list both letters. If I was also making meatloaf that week and it was meal letter F, I would do this:

A/F 2 lb. ground beef.

I label breakfast foods Bf, lunch is L and snacks are S. I have blank spots for notes or last minute things I need. I also have a section where I list foods I purchase from Costco on a regular basis.

Although I do the bulk of my shopping for 2 weeks at a time, I do a second trip on the next Monday for fresh foods that can’t be frozen. So, when making my list, I put an asterisk next to the foods that should be purchased on that second trip. Fruits and veggies, a second gallon of milk, etc.

Some of my items are general, such as fruit. I will decide at the store which fruits to get based on what’s in season and on sale.

Once I have my list done, I save it as that week. Then I go back to my basic list, copy it, and start again.

Warning: On about week three, you may get really bored. I took a week to make my shopping lists and another week to revise them all when I realized I’d left things out. Now, though, I am so glad I took the time!

Once your lists are done, you’re ready to shop!

You can leave your list for the next week on the fridge so you can add things during the week. Or, you can check your cupboards quickly before you go. Either way, you can cross out any staples that are on the list that you don’t need.

Before you go to the store, take a look at your calendar. Oftentimes we’ll get paid on an odd day and I won’t need 10 dinners. Or, I’ll know we’re going to someone’s house for dinner that week. I just take my pen and eliminate a dinner for that week.

I usually eliminate the most expensive meal, unless I know my family was really looking forward to it. Now, I’m glad I took all that time to key my list. Because everything associated with that dinner can be easily crossed off my list.

Another reason a key helps is during your shopping trip. If, like me, you shop with your kids, it can be hard to focus! So if I’m at the store and they’re out of a key ingredient for a meal, or something is much more costly than I thought it would be, I can make a quick substitution.

I like to shop with a calculator so I don’t go over my budget. This helps me make the best choices in the heat of the moment.

Take notes right on your lists and save them, as you may find that you need to revise them a couple times. I ended up with a container of ricotta once and no meal that included it. You may also want to note how much that trip cost you, so you can revise weeks later if you need to.

Once you get home and start making meals, take notes on those as well. Cross out any that your husband does not like! Make notes on any changes you made, or would like to make. Put a star next to favorites that you might want to repeat in future weeks you’ll plan next year.

To make your book even more useful, considering copying all your recipes and adding them to your weeks. It takes time, but again, saves time.

Once you start cooking, you’ll probably find new recipes you want to try. I stick these in a section of my binder to add later when I revise my book.

This sounds ridiculously detailed, but I have found over the years that I work better this way. You might not need such detail, so make this idea your own.

Tomorrow, I’ll share my cleaning plan for my fellow moms that are not natural housekeepers. It’ll help you make the best use of your time and simplify your days.

Until then, let me know if any of you are trying this idea!