A while back, I wrote about 10 ideas for date-gifts for your husband. Today, I want to share another gift idea, this one a little more meaningful.
Two anniversaries ago, I bought a blank journal for Eric. Now, this might have been an awful gift because Eric isn’t a writer by nature but this book wasn’t for him to fill. It’s for him to read. I write him a letter in it every so often. Never as often as I want, but over time the pages are filling up.
In the beginning of his book, I wrote that I never wanted him to feel that he had to read it, it would just be on the shelf whenever he wanted to pick it up. (Yes, that was more of a reminder for me than him!) He immediately put it on his nightstand and declared it was staying there. I also said I didn’t want to feel pressured to write in it so I wasn’t going to try to write every day. (Again, more for me to remember than him.)
Sometimes I will go a long time and forget to write in it at all. He’s never mentioned it, but one time when I went a few weeks without adding anything, he very subtly left it out on our bed. My heart melted when I realized he looked forward to reading the notes. As I said, Eric doesn’t really enjoy writing but one day I even found an entry written back to me from him. Made my day.
On the front page, it says
For Eric
and underneath I wrote out:
I thank my God every time I remember you. Philippians 1:3
I have determined to let nothing negative appear on its pages. Every entry must be positive in every way. After all, I hope he has this forever! My prayer is that not only will he feel encouraged and built up when he reads this book, but that he can always look through it and see the many wonderful thoughts I have about him on a daily basis. When we’ve grown old, we can both look back and see what a wonderful husband he’s been.
I can hear some women saying…well my husband isn’t that great. And I will answer like I always do. Most husbands are great; maybe some just need a little help from their wives finding that greatness. And really, why not strip away any negative memories and focus on the positive ones?
Honestly, there are some days here in the present when a quick glance through the book reminds me of what a great guy I’ve got. I don’t care how great your marriage is, we all need reminding sometimes. So, great gift for him, but also…great gift for me.
Here are some things I’ve shared:
· Thanks for things he’s done. Both big things like taking the kids out so I could have alone time and little things like reminding me to take my vitamins.
· Thanks for who he is.
· Verses I’ve come across in my daily reading that I think will bless him.
· Written out prayers for him.
· Lists of things I love about him.
· I once wrote a list of all the way he takes care of me.
· Lots of notes telling him why and how I love him.
· Other things that are too private to share!
Other Ideas:
I do understand that this is something that comes easily to me, since I just love expressing myself through writing. Maybe some of you aren’t comfortable writing. You could instead create a sort of scrapbook type journal filled with images and quotes that will inspire your husband and show him what you think of when you think about him.
· Write out a verse.
· Copy quotes from literature that make you think of him.
· Drawings or watercolor paintings.
· Magazine picture collages.
· Photos! A photo journal can speak volumes!
To Get Your Brain Started:
Maybe you have a desire to write for him and just don’t have any ideas. Here are some writing prompts for you:
· Share the “high” point of you day when it has to do with him.
· Write an acrostic poem using his name. Use a thesaurus if you get stuck!
· List the physical features you love.
· Share memories from earlier years. What attracted you to him in the first place?
· Start a list of things you love about your husband.
· Think about the last week. What is one thing you couldn’t have done without your husband’s help? Write about that.
· Does your husband provide for you financially or does he watch the kids so you can work? Thank him for that.
· Write a positive review of your last intimate encounter. (That sentence took me a while to construct. You all know what I mean, right?)
When I picked out Eric’s book, I searched until I found one that i felt looked the most “like him.” The one I found is shown above…I liked the rustic look and the flappy part in front. He was really into these archaeologist stories when I found it, and it looked to me like an old field book, so I knew he’d dig it. If you can, find one that matches your man’s personality.
Remember, you don’t have to wait for a monumental moment to have something to write about. I once wrote an entire page about how I love eating burritos and watching 24 with him. It turned into this whole thing about how I can be myself with him.
Besides blessing your husband, I think you’ll find that keeping an I love you book will increase your own awareness of how awesome that guy God gave you really is. Who wouldn’t want that?
What a wonderful idea!
Just when I think that you can’t make me any prouder–you blow every other idea out of the water-
MAN OH MAN Ducky, this is your best one ever.
I will do this.
Such a wonderful wife you are. The journal is also a good idea for Christmas. We are all struggling with our bills so a nice little journal is so meaningful and helps you keep your $$ for bills.
Another idea is just to decorate a journal yourself. Maybe that could be done as one of the entries. Sports stickers, family pictures, a special drawing, a map of where you went on your honeymoon are all ideas Ive had just sitting here on how I could decorate my husbands journal.
Ooo One more.. you could press a little flower in the pages.
Hee hee.
Joy
I followed your link to hear from a comment you made on the Simple Mom blog.
I love this idea. And I think my husband would love it too… I might steal it!!
This was such a blessing to read. I needed to be encouraged on better ways to show my husband how much I love him.
Love this idea. I’m a writer, not a talker. My husband is the opposite. I’ve contemplated an idea like this but like how you listed ideas of what to write about. Thank you for sharing!
Melodie
http://www.themonbergs.com
It’s always nice to know that this gift lasts a lifetime, but at the same time it’s new every time I open it.
Angela, this is fantastic!! I’m definitely going to do this! Thank you so much for sharing this idea from your archives.
I can see this being a wonderful legacy piece as well. It will be like finding a stack of love letters when y’all are gone, something you’re children will always treasure…even if they might blush occasionally and say, “You mean Mom and Dad actually did have s*x?” LOL
Thanks again for linking up!
Blessings.
Wow, Marsha I did not think of that! I might have to stipulate that it is to be burned upon my death.
Angela –
I’m right with you girl! I have been keeping a book for Rick since I first heard someone I can’t even remember mention it on a blog somewhere. We’re on the second book already and I do write at least a few words every day. It’s the last thing he reads before he shuts off the bedside lamp for prayer time.
Positive words only is indeed the clue to making this a book of love!
The last thing he reads at night… that’s so sweet!
love it! what a great idea.
I gave my hubby a similar gift on our wedding — I love the idea of continuing that gift for years to come. thank you.
Hey Ang ~
We’ve been doing a variation of this idea for a few years and it’s been such a great tool in our marriage.
Several years ago we were really struggling and started just writing little notes to each other on whatever paper we’d find. Those little notes gave us an opportunity to say something the right way (rather than the way it comes out in the heat of the moment), the time and space to think about what we were saying and how it would affect the other, etc. Well, we finally decided to make it official and went out and bought a journal. Now, we take turns. I write to him and leave the book on his side of the bed, the ribbon marking the latest entry, then he writes back to me. There are times when we write almost daily, then other times when it gets passed back and forth maybe once a month. There are times when one of us needs a little more encouragement than the other and its not cheating to take two turns in a row. There’s just no rules, really, but the purpose is to take the time to acknowledge and lavish and lift up our mates. The benefit – we have a written record of “life-letters” between us. And now that we’ve been doing it for some time, we make a point to periodically go back and read some of the old ones. It makes for a sweet, intimate time and reminds us again how valuable we are to each other.
I love it,
Becky
That’s awesome! So true that when you write you have time to think, and erase. Love it
I have been married for 30 years, with six children, four of which are home school graduates…all that to say, busy!!! It is so easy to just pass each other with the many needs of the day, what time to be at the game, who to pick up, drop off, bills to pay, etc. that the nice things that need to be said get pushed away. Even after all these years, and different ideas through the years, it is nice to find a fresh one.
Thanks! Hope you have fun with it!
as my husband-to-be and I live some 400 km away, some time ago I started a private tumblr for just the two of us where I do just that – post meaningful pics and quotes I find around on the web and write the occasional loving line. And I know he goes to check it almost daily and he’s always happy when he finds something new – and a bit disappointed when he does not
What a creative idea! I love it!
What a great idea! I am going to try this for my husband’s birthday; or maybe Father’s Day. Thank you for sharing!
I got here from To Love, Honor and Vacuum’s Wifey Wednesday.
I just have to say that I love this idea and just blogged about it. Thanks so much Angela for sharing this inspiring idea. Kelly
http://lovinglifeslittlemoments.blogspot.com/2010/03/vigilant-wives-club-2.html
Kelly´s last blog ..The Vigilant Wives Club (2)
This post made me cry…it is the best idea ever! I can’t wait to find a book to start filling. You are so right about focusing on the positive. Thank you!
i love this idea, but my husband isnt much of a reader…i am a little afraid to try, we both have so much to do and i think i would be hurt if he hardly ever read it.
This is so wonderful! Loving this idea and hoping to do this for my sweet hubby very soon. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Susan´s last blog ..Coming Soon…
this is such a nice idea.
i actually suggested starting a notebook like this as a couple a few months ago…I’m a ‘words of affirmation’ girl love language speaking & this seemed like a way I could gently encourage him how to ‘speak my language’ as he’s admitted that doesn’t come natural to him, and it wasn’t modeled for him much growing up.
i’ve written to him a few times….still waiting for him to write back – hard not to be disappointed, but i can still see the benefit of encouraging him as well.
thanks for sharing.
~h
This is an amazing idea! I think I need to take a visit to Barnes and Noble tonight for his Valentine’s gift. He’s an avid reader so he LOVES just going to the store. It’s his candy store. Just think how happy he’ll be when he sees that I’m going to write him a personal book. Thank you so much for the idea. I can’t wait!
Jeannette´s last blog ..Motivation Monday- February 14
This is such a wonderful idea. I think I might start a book for our next anniversary. Thank you so much for takingthe time to share this.
I just came across your blog and I love this idea! My husband just left for out of town and I think he’ll have a little gift when he gets back!
Amanda´s last blog ..Qualified- The Case for the Homeschool Mom